Being Messianic Isn't Always Easy

Coming to know Yeshua is our people's Messiah, the Messiah of the world, is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. It was a realization from HaShem that came out of years of seeking and asking Him to show me the truth no matter how much it would offend or shock me.

Like many other messianic jews, I had a knowing encounter with Yeshua that made belief in Him and His identity undeniable.

And while I am grateful every single day that I am reconciled to HaShem through Yeshua and live in His Light and have the Spirit of HaShem living in me, helping me, guiding me...it has not been an easy road.

Months after coming to faith in Yeshua, I said to a friend with a different background, "I miss the synagogue." Doing his best to comfort me he said, "You can still visit."

It's hard to explain to those who haven't lived in a Jewish community, who haven't been threaded into the rich tapestry that is an active synagogue, what it is to now be on the outside, but visiting isn't enough.

In those days, no one at my synagogue knew I was messianic, but I did. I was spending most Shabbats at a messianic synagogue about 30 minutes from my home and making connections there as I strived to grow in Yeshua and understand the Jewishness of Mattityahu through Revelations.

But my messianic congregation was mostly Christian and catered to Christians who were striving to live by the Torah and learn about the Hebrew roots of their faith which is great, but to a Jewish person stepping out of synagogue, it was a foreign, strange environment.

It was something in between that felt not Christian but not Jewish either. It walked this line of feeling almost blasphemous while also interesting, at time amusing, sometimes deeply offensive and at other times wonderful as we all fellowshipped and the Spirit of God dissolved all barriers.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. - Galations 3:28

But in his letter to the Galations, Sha'ul isn't saying one isn't a jew or one isn't a woman and being a new messianic jewish person in this space that was not even a thin echo of what I had in synagogue was devastating. I often felt like a novelty, a sideshow "one of the good ones." Sometimes I even felt fetishized by a few oddballs.

I missed home. Blending in, understanding. I missed things making sense and being familiar.

Synagogue isn't a place you go once or even just twice a week. Some people never step foot inside other than on high holy days, but they are still very plugged in.

It's the center of the community, it's where you get an apartment for rent, a job, find a doctor, get help when you're sick (let one person know you're ill and you'll have meals and visitors all week), get help with family issues, get your baby named, are celebrated for your bar mitzvah, find a school for your kids, and more. It's how you observe every holiday, where you learn that it means to be Jewish and where you feel safe in a world that always feels hostile toward us right underneath the surface.

It's everything. It's not about a building, it's being part of and plugged into a network of family. Your dentist is from the synagogue, your friends are, your rabbi knows more about your than your parents and is always willing to help you with whatever is going on in your life.

On Shabbat, I spent many an afternoon at my rabbi's kitchen table or in his office talking. Walking to friend's house after Friday night services for dinners are some of my fondest memories. Is the eruv up or is the eruv down? Is anyone selling a car? Let's all chip in for this family going through a hard time. I've been to weddings where I didn't know the bride or groom but they needed people.

It's not a building.

Leaving a synagogue is leaving a community, it's leaving a society.

But Yeshua knew all of this.

Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. -Mattityahu 10:37

Yeshua valued family. He made sure his mother was taken care of even while on the cross as he transferred care of her to his friend.

But he also knew that part of following him could have a cost. I'm thankful that I can still pop into my home synagogue on holidays (I usually spend high holy days there as I don't have a congregation right now), but it's not quite same as I can only go so deep now.

Believing Yeshua is the Messiah of Israel is a dividing line many of my friends and family cannot get behind.

One day I'll write about the conversation I had with my rabbi, my very beloved rabbi. I broke his heart with my beliefs but in the end, he understood even though things will never be quite the same.

Belief in Yeshua in many ways puts you on the outside, and this isn't only true for jewish people, I've heard similar stories from those who came to belief from hinduism and even atheism.

If you are blessed enough to live in an area with a thriving messianic jewish community that is reminiscent of the community you came from, that is wonderful. If you are not, it means you have another calling.

For me, it was to serve in my mostly Christian messianic congregation until I called away. I cooked and brought food to other believers, Jews and Christians. I took care of children, organized Bible studies, opened my home for Passover, Yom kippur fast breaks, Shabbat, taught a Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation class to messianic jewish children, and more.

By the time HaShem called me out of that congregation I was sad to go, I'd just gotten used to it and began to love my time there, but it was time for the next adventure with Him.

That's the messianic Jewish life. It's an adventure and very similar to the life of our Messiah and ultimate Rabbi, Yeshua. We must walk in the wilderness at times without the home we once had, but He is there and understands.

And Yeshua said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” -Mattityahu 8:20

There are things you can do to stay connected to our Jewishness while you navigate this new life.

Volunteer for Jewish organizations. We have one in my city that delivers meals to the needy for every holiday.

Join a messianic Jewish organization like the Union of Messianic Congregations or the Messianic Jewish Jewish Alliance of America. These organizations have camps, conferences, classes and all kinds of events you can get plugged into.

Pray about finding a messianic congregation to get involved in. They are all not the same. Don't let a couple (or a few) bad experiences turn you off. It may not ever feel like the synagogue you knew, but if the Spirit of HaShem is there and He has called you there, it can still be home.

Lastly, know that it takes time. Many, many Jewish people came to faith in Yeshua when he walked the Earth and even after as Sha'ul, and the talmidim taught and spoke.

But many of those who had heard the word believed, and the number of the men came to about five thousand. -Acts 4:4

But as we know from today, many others did believe but hid because they were afraid of being on the outside of the synagogue which means being on the outside of the community all together and losing access to their livelihood, family, friends, and everything they know.

Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the synagogue for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God. - Yochanan 12:42-43

We must put our faith in Him. This life is but a shadow compared to things above.

Hang in there, friend. Stay close to HaShem through prayer and reading His Word. Maybe have a little challah. And a bit of fish.

Email remnantofzionministries@gmail.com for any help